So Many Things To See, Only One Eyeball To Do It With

If my eye look normal enough and doesn't water too much, I'm going to drive to Orlando today, weather permitting (rain!), to check out the SF con there and try to shake the great John Scalzi's hand. I'm interested in a couple of workshops there too, covering the urban fantasy motifs and the newest weapon technology. I think the first workshop would be interesting to attend, just to hear what the SF dudes have to say about relationships and what's accepted/not in this genre. The second one is a given.

Anyway, I hope I'll be able to do it, especially to the Scalzi sighting/signing. He's one of my favorite writers and bloggers--very, very funny man who is very generous about everything, from pictures of his cats to helping out fellow published authors.

Here is the SF CON WEBSITE if you're in the area and would like to meet with science fiction writers. I wonder whether they'll have some evening science-fiction costume-thing, like the romance conventions. I know they wouldn't call them BALLS. :::grin:::

Okay, have a good and safe Memorial's Day weekend, friends. I pray for all our men and women in service and remember those who have served. How am I giving back? By helping Ranger Buddy write a literary paper comparing sexual awareness and the death of innocence in Updike's The A and P and Oate's Where Are You From Where Have You Been? You have never heard a brave alpha male weep till he has to write a literary paper. I may be one-eyed and can't read; this man read these stories 1000 times and can't see any subtext. Ha, who's the blind one now?

I stayed home the last two days because I didn't want to frighten the little children. Today, my eye is almost back to normal size, so I lost the Jenn The Murderous Clown look. Alas. I was just starting to enjoy making faces in the mirror at my self. You know, those nightlights that change colors do add dramatic effects to a mad woman with one huge eyelid. Can you tell that not being able to read is driving me batty? ;-)

I did have a sorta of funny conversation with a friend, though. You know how they make you sign off a thousand and one things that might happen to you during and post-surgery for which they don't want any liability? I was rattling some of the stuff to my friend. For example, I might have a scar. Another warning was that one of my eye might not look the same.

So my friend asked me what I'd do if, when my eye heals, I still look demonic (now that I think about it, she sounded rather gleeful about this possibility...). I told her that I might have to live with that. She told me that I couldn't because looking demonic would chase away fans and new readers passing by when I go for a signing. In order to avoid this, I'll have to think about plastic surgery.

"No way," I told her. "If I'm going under the knife, it'd better be for something more dramatic than taking care of a scar on my eyelid. I'd have to do a major facial makeover."

"Like how major?"

"Like major major. They'd better cut me up and make me look like Anjelina Jolie." I paused. "Huh. But then I'd have to sleep with Brad Pitt. The horror."

My friend rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with Brad Pitt?"

I rolled my ONE eye back at her. "Don't you read the rags? He doesn't bathe and he stinks."

"Well, I see no difference between that and the roofers you work with. They smell and stink too," she pointed out.

"Umm, hello? I don't sleep with them."

Sheesh. How did this conversation get to this point anyhow? Can't I have any sympathy from my friends? I'm walking around with a humongous sewn eyelid, for gad's sakes.

On the other hand, it would be nice to look like non-anorexic Angelina Jolie. Without the tattoos. ;-) All dark and seductive. Tall and glamorous. Awesomely buxomy. Pouty and mysterious. Everything Gennita the one-eyed clown is not. ESPECIALLY if she eats another tub of Edy ice-cream (three and counting).

Post #2: Things Not To Do Today

Esp. when I'm one-eyed, you know?

Also something NOT TO do with a child. Really.

You must watch this video till the end. If you do, you will see WHAT happened to John Locke when he stood in front of The Thing.

Celebrating Indiana Jones

Funniest environmental message evah:



That last look on his face as he buttoned his shirt back up? Is why I loved Harrison Ford so much.

Call Me One-Eyed Jenn

I had this thing "growing" on my right eyelid. It was something between a zit and a wart. The doctor checked it yesterday and decided it wasn't some kind of disease that was going to change me into a demon, but the thing definitely needed to be removed because...well...I was looking at people and giving them the evil eye.

So today, I went, for the first time in my life, to do a little outpatient surgery. Meaning, I was awake after they numbed me and I saw what they did to me with the instruments. It involved sticking some kind of metal on the side of me to "ground" me because they were cautering off this odd lump and then soldering the OPEN SLIT back together.

Then the doctor sewed me back together. It was very strange because even though I felt no pain, I could SMELL my skin burning. I felt the droplets of my BLOOD trailing down the side of my eyes. Afterwards, since my eyes were closed during this procedure, I get to imagine the doctor sewing the skin back together. This is my EYELID, mind you, so the writer with me was getting these awful thoughts about finding out that this doctor sewed my eye shut. Argghhh. Each time he moved the needle, I felt the dangly thread snaking across my face. Argghh.

It didn't take long, but I was glad it was over. My eye, though, looks demonic. My eye is fine, actually, but the eyelid? Yikes. Three times its normal size! The doctor said I should be fine tonight but I've been checking in the mirror and it still looks horrible. Sigh. And the sutures look so nicely fashionable.

Yes, just call me One-Eyed Jenn today. And probably tomorrow. Thank God--no romantic date tonight! Hard to look sexay when one eyelid looks like you can use it for a surfboard.

Book of the Week

Have a BUNCH of errands to do today and tonight. So, today's a book recommendation thread.

The Darkest Kiss by Keri Arthur

The newest book in the Riley Jensen, the dhampire, series. This is much, much, MUCH better than the last book, even though it starts out with slapstick Lucille Ball shifted-into-seagull Riley again. Why? because the new skillz of seagullity doesn't include the ability to fly. So, of course, Riley needs to practice and practice.

Okay.

Thankfully, this episode was short and we're back to Riley hunting the bad demons again. There is less the DNA-changing arc this time round (also good) and not much mention of past characters. There is barely any violent rape (very, very good! I was ready to stop reading because Riley kept getting raped in every book) and then Quinn returns (yay!), but only after page 200. So quit flipping the story forward (like I did because I wanted a taste of his Quinness) or you'll miss the twists and turns on how the two main monsters-of-the-book connect.

I love me some Quinn. And I so want to know more about vampiric-angels. Come on, quit teasing me about this and give the deets!

So, overall, I'm still addicted to this series. After massacreing Quinn's character to bring in a fake alpha wolf, I hope Riley and Quinn's relationship, now that they are back together again, will blossom into something that would explore their feelings for each other instead of the now repetitive "but you're not my twu soulmate!" conversations.

And the seagull skillz? Sigh. Still cracks me up and takes me right out of the story. It's just wrong. Like the thought of Anita Blake sexxing up a were-swan with feathered chest. Just wrong.

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Okay, your turn. What book are you reading and did you like it?